We are obviously all reeling from last week’s Supreme Court ruling (that the legal definition of a woman is based on biological sex assigned at birth), and pretty devastated that the UK is following so hotly on the heels of the US. The UK and the US are now the least progressive countries in the Western world for trans rights and healthcare. It’s not good at all.

It does however mean that trans travellers are looking at countries where they know they are safe and accepted for their time away. Malta, Norway, Portugal, Belgium, Iceland and Canada are all good options for the trans traveller and those countries that welcome us are also good bets for the broader LGBTQ+ community. It’s just so sad that we have gone backwards 20 years.

The last decade has seen increased visibility and representation for the trans community, and we now see trans faces across television, film and advertising. Travel brands have got better at doing the LGB bit of LGBTQ+ but the trans community remains almost invisible. We see destinations, cruises and hotels catering proudly and specifically to the gay and lesbian market, tanned and smiling men and women wrapped in rainbow flags splashed across brochures and marketing communications, yet not a trans person in sight.

Notably, the exception to that rule is Tahiti Tourism, which in 2024 proudly featured both trans men and women in their marketing films and brochures – and that’s largely because Tahitian culture recognises a third gender, “Rae-rae”, which refers to individuals assigned male at birth who live as women. 

The world is changing. Trans people are no longer hiding in the shadows and many have become affluent. We now want to travel, to explore and to live full lives but to do so safely, and with only the warmest welcome. My wife Hannah and I love to travel as a couple and as a family with our two children, Millie (4) and Teddie (2) and now work with brands who are proudly trans and LGBTQ inclusive.

One of our favourite destinations has always been the US, which sadly might be off the table for the foreseeable future. That loss cannot be underestimated: Hannah and I took our first holiday there, a wild and carefree week in Manhattan where we found our spiritual home. Later, I proposed to Hannah on Central Park lake. I have solo travelled state wide, screening my films in some truly charming little cities and towns. In the last few months however, we’re hearing worrying stories of trans people being pulled aside at customs, questioned, and denied entry. That refusal at the border can result in a lifetime ban. We are waiting and watching, but will only return if we know it’s safe to do so.

Hannah, a 10-year British Army veteran, has long brown hair and a pretty smile, but her deep voice often reveals her trans identity. Despite her female ID, she often gets extra scrutiny; she’s been pulled aside by customs officers in the US several times and questioned in a separate room, while I waited nervously outside. It’s something that could quickly escalate if we no longer have legislative protections.

As LGBTQ+ influencers, we’re fortunate to be offered some fantastic travel opportunities but we have to carefully consider carefully which we take up. We were invited to a stunning Maldives resort but were advised that with it being subject to Sharia law, there may be some risks. Despite the management and team being entirely welcoming, they were candid that they couldn’t guarantee our safe passage through the airport. The picture-perfect sea views and luxury of the hotel were tempting, but above all, we need to feel safe. Honestly, we still wrestle with that one as we would likely have no issues, we’re just not sure we want to risk it at an already tricky time for trans travellers.


Another consideration is the welcome at point of check in. We have trans friends who will only book an AirBnB if the key is provided in a safe box on arrival, for fear that they might be turned away if the owner notices that they’re trans. We know people to whom this has happened, and those stories heard on the grapevine are a source of great concern. Even a simple thing like using the toilet causes anxiety. Hannah has had people angrily confront her in a women’s toilet: “Get out! You shouldn’t be here.” 

This necessary caution pervades not only our leisure travel, but business too. Hannah travels frequently to India for her job, and will not travel through Dubai – she’s classed as a female impersonator there, which means that she could face immediate imprisonment. 

Often Hannah will pick up the phone in a hotel and tell the receptionist: ‘It’s Mrs Graf,’ and they’ll reply: ‘Yes sir,’ because they can’t see her and just react to her voice. While we understand that the intention is never to offend, when a guest is telling you who they are, surely it shouldn’t be that hard to respond appropriately? It’s a common error, and one that can really dampen a stay. 

Kindness… and training 

Whilst the negatives happen more than we would like, getting it right really only requires a little empathy and understanding, and forward thinking brands are getting on board.

We recently spent three nights in the incomparable luxury of Ultima Hotel Courchevel in the French Alps. Already floored by the private butler, magical views and perfect snow, the flawless team also called Hannah ‘Madame Graf’ throughout, even in the spa, a space which can feel especially awkward. We are already planning our next stay.

In the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles, part of The Dorchester Collection, one of their trademarks is printed chocolates for guests. We returned home from a day’s shopping to find that they had lifted a photo of us from our Instagram the day before and printed it on a white chocolate background, along with a pink, white and blue trans flag and the words ‘Happy Trans Day of Visibility, March 31st’. This gesture not only made us feel seen but was quite touching at a time when trans people are so often maligned.

We had been debating a Rome trip for some time but felt some trepidation as the current Italian government has been far from inclusive to the LGBTQ community. Deciding to take the plunge, we were pleasantly surprised when our stay at Hotel Eden ended up being one of the most welcoming we’ve had, with staff that were warm, charming and accepting throughout.

Our first family cruise, on board the virgin sail of the Explora Journeys’ ‘Explora II’ was truly another world, with a feeling of freedom and adventure that we’ve rarely known. Added to that the most professional, charismatic and welcoming staff and their unique ‘Prism’ LGBTQ events and excursions, and Hannah and I never wanted to leave. 

And thoughtful hospitality is by no means the preserve of the luxury sector. On a recent New York trip, a late flight meant finding ourselves on the Upper West Side at 11pm, tired and hungry and with limited local options. Across the road from the hotel, a brightly lit Sports Bar was our best bet. The blue collar, male dominated environment made us both feel anxious, so we withdrew to a corner. When the waitress came over, Hannah quietly ordered a drink. Smiling warmly, the waitress politely asked for our preferred pronouns, and the mood instantly changed, knowing that we had an ally and that it was a safe space. We know people are worried about getting it wrong, but it’s fine to say: “Welcome… I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what are your pronouns?”. It really is the smallest gestures that make the biggest difference.    

The world is in a state of flux, and while certain destinations may now sadly feel less safe, people will still travel, they will just be more vigilant when choosing where. We know it’s not possible to police people’s attitudes, but travel companies and hotels can do their bit by ensuring their staff are trained in inclusivity, and that if things do go wrong, they will stick up for their trans and LGBQ guests, so that we feel safe to be there. Surely, that’s the very least that one should expect on their hard-earned holiday.