I usually consider myself something of a dab hand in the kitchen. My partner Telma, by contrast, would have been a perfect contestant on 90s cooking gameshow Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook.
But as she turns out a perfect Portuguese orange cake followed by a fluffy lentil loaf, I’m starting to feel the weight of self-imposed expectation. “Wow, Telma!” coos Graham, one of our hosts, as she reaches for the bread knife.
Attention now turns to my sweet potato rostis. I’m sweating on them after frying off a few dozen over the stove. Back at home, I love to host and I love to feed, but I also like to be well fed myself so there’s something in this for me too.
We’re in the Algarve, but despite Telma hailing from Portugal, there’s no home advantage for her as we work through some Yotam Ottolenghi’s oeuvre on a vegetarian-themed retreat. No meaty Portuguese sandwiches like bifanas or francesinhas here, or classics like carne de porco alentejana (pork and clams).
Not that we're carnivores by any stretch. In fact, we’ve steadily reduced our meat consumption in recent years for health, cost and sustainability reasons. It’s perhaps something your clients have resolved to do, making this retreat not only a great way to revitalise a well-intentioned resolution, but also to see the Algarve in a different light.
It also taps neatly into growing demand for off-the-beaten-track, experiential travel, and is perfect too for solo travellers, as well as couples or duos – mother and daughter trips are particularly common. Five-day retreats are bookable through Not in the Guidebooks.
Although cooking exclusively vegetarian and/or vegan food is slightly out of my comfort zone, the programme laid on by our hosts Graham and Cheryl Smith – both passionate home cooks – is a brilliant and fun way to rethink your diet, eating habits and impact, and to add to your repertoire.
Back to my rostis, which thankfully turn out just fine. It’s the first time I’ve made them with sweet potato – give me a regular spud any day – but Telma loves them so they’ll go straight on our menu at home. Note I say “our”. I’m hopeful Telma’s experience might just have unlocked a new-found love of cooking (and found me my very own sous chef!)
Graham and Cheryl run the experience out of their incredible rural home, which is situated between Messines and Silves, around 45 minutes' drive from Faro. There are also direct trains from Messines to Lisbon, taking around three hours, while the 250km-plus Via Algarviana walking trail winds just past the villa for the more adventurous.
Graham grew up in Zimbabwe, while Cheryl is from South Africa; they met in Johannesburg, and went on to live in the UK for more than 20 years. But while they would tour Europe by camper van during their formative holidays, it wasn’t until slightly later in life they finally made it to Portugal.
Then, inspired by a documentary about seeking a quieter life in the sun, they bought their first property here in 2005 and later The River House – a lovingly restored Portuguese farmhouse turned five-bedroom villa set in the Algarvian countryside, now complete with glamping tents and a pool. It has two doubles with en suites on the ground floor, while the three upstairs bedrooms share bathrooms.
Refurbished as a rental, it was during Covid they decided to make their retreat – Figs on the Funcho – their business too, offering art and later cooking holidays, as well as bespoke getaways. Then, in 2022, they came full circle, appearing on Channel 4’s A New Life in the Sun and 2024 follow-up series Where Are They Now?
Why Figs on the Funcho? Well the property is situated downriver of the Funcho dam, surrounded by fig and carob trees. Funcho also means fennel in Portuguese, and grows abundantly in the area. The house has direct access to the water for wild swimming, kayaking and paddle boarding.
Not in the Guidebooks offers four departures a year, and stays can easily be packaged up as part of a longer itinerary or tailored to suit individual interests or needs.
After our short (included) transfer from Faro and a refreshing cup of lemongrass tea, Graham has us straight in the kitchen. I’m blitzing up roasted peppers, garlic and piri-piri chillies to make a Portuguese-tinged harissa paste for a roasted carrot dish, while Telma gets on with that orange cake.
We’re joined by several other guests on the same retreat as us, and together we knock up a spread featuring a lentil daal with squash, a baked mushroom ragu and a salad with a tahini-yoghurt dressing. Graham rotates the recipes between retreats, and with the seasons, incorporating their own produce and other locally-sourced ingredients. He shares the recipes after the retreat so we can give them a go at home.
We eat outside as the sun sets spectacularly over the river, each introducing our dishes, with the chat and convivial atmosphere aided by a few bottles of Portuguese red. Rather than the familiar chirp of cicadas, we retire to the equally evocative sound of dozens of croaking frogs and toads.
An experiential retreat
We rise early, well rested, to make breakfast – egg rougaille with tomato, onion and chilli, tandoori chickpeas, lentil loaf and local jam – before heading into Messines, which is oriented around a recently-renovated local marketplace that has pushed the supermarkets out of town.
Cheryl has us hunting down ingredients for dinner before we walk about 6km back to the house, following the river. She uses an app on her phone to listen out for all the different bird calls we can hear, and then identifies them too. Here, walkers can take in parts of Portugal’s Rota Literaria (literary route) and the area is also on the Rota da Laranja (orange route).
We draw lots to work out who’s cooking what for dinner. I’m back on potato duty (2kg of them!), which I roast Greek-style with garlic, lemon, orange, mustard, rosemary, thyme and oregano. There’s also moussaka made with some of that mushroom ragu we made earlier, plus cauliflower shawarma, fattoush salad and an upside-down lemon cake, not to mention a few more glasses of red.
Our final full day starts with a breakfast of shakshouka, spinach pancakes with lime butter, courgette frittata, beetroot, goats cheese and pumpkin seed bread, and beetroot hummus. We’re heading to the Arvad winery about 30 minutes down the road west of Silves. En route, big stork nests sit atop the roadside utility poles and street lamps like messy wigs made of sticks and twigs.
Arvad used to be a dairy farm, our guide Duarte tells us. Here, they produce a handful of red and white grapes, including Negra Mole, which is indigenous to the Algarve. Set in 16 hectares of vines, it has cultured enoturism – wine tourism – since its first harvest in 2019, with a hotel, spa and restaurant in the works.
In contrast to Portugal’s gutsy reds from the Douro or Alentejo regions, Negra Mole is light, more akin to a Pinot Noir. “My father would drink it like water,’ says Duarte, with a smile. It certainly goes well with the spread of bread, cheese and fruit we tuck into for lunch.
After a relaxing afternoon back at The River House, including a quick dip in the pool, we’re back in the kitchen, our aprons looking a little worse for wear. My harissa carrots are back on the menu, and I’m also roasting off some asparagus with almonds, while the others whip up some courgette and chickpea koftes and a cauliflower cheese filo pastry pie.
It’s another hugely enjoyable dinner that enlivens the cooks among us, while helping build and inspire confidence among those with slightly less experience in the kitchen. Figs on the Funcho is well set up to cater for a multitude of clients, from solo travellers and couples/duos to families and larger groups, and could even serve as an experiential alternative to a three- or four-night city break. Give it a go.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, chef Telma’s calling me down for dinner and I’ve not laid the table!
Book it
Graham and Cheryl's A Vegetarian Retreat: Cook, Dine and Unwind in the Algarve experience is bookable through Not in the Guidebooks, with prices starting from £873pp based on two sharing a glamping tent with shared bathroom.
Prices include four nights' accommodation, Faro airport transfers, welcome drinks, breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, including wine with evening meals, cooking tuition and ingredients, and visits to a local market and winery.
A stay in a twin/double room in the villa with shared bathroom leads in from £907pp and from £1,164pp for a double with en suite, both based on two sharing. The remaining 2026 dates are 8-12 May, 11-15 September and 13-17 November.
Flight-inclusive packages are available from Gold Medal, Incredible Journeys, Travelpack, Major Travel, Jetset and JTA. Co-op agents can book via Co-op Holidays and Hays Travel agents (including Not Just Travel) via Vista.
Graham and Cheryl also offer a Discover Portuguese World Cuisine – Riverside Cooking Holiday, which leads in from the same pricing as above. The 2026 dates are 10-14 April, 22-26 May and 9-13 October.




